The weekend before last, I saw the onstage performance of ’I love my hair when it’s good and then again when it looks defiant & impressive’ in downtown Durham, NC at Manbites Dog Theater. I thought it was a wonderfully written play, developed and directed by Durhamite artist, Chaunesti Webb. And, it was also refreshing to see this play years after Chris Rock’s, entertaining yet demoralizing, doc film, Good Hair. It gave a newness to the natural vs. unnatural hair debate.
Without giving up too much information about the play, I’ll just share a little from the play’s website:
Genevieve and Moni have grown up playing double-dutch together, chasing fireflies on grandma’s front porch, and sharing the pain of the hot comb. Worlds collide with age and the search for identity as they attempt to make sense of the world through the complicated relationship they have with their hair. Theirs is a story of love and envy, silence and joy. Follow these two cousins and the family of women who love them, as they come of age together in the South, a South, too small to contain their curiosities. Sassy, lyrical and nostalgic, I LOVE MY HAIR integrates interview text, poetry, original music, movement and video, to explore family, community, race, class, politics and identity.
In my opinion, the play was beautifully cast and allowed for a wide range of local African American actresses to show off their diversity in skin tone, hair textures, vocal range, and acting talents. I could feel the emotion seeping through the dialogue, dance, & songs that were performed. I am also a huge fan of onstage performances that make use of multimedia.
The stories & testimonies shared by Webb’s characters were both unique and comparable to my own childhood growing up as a ‘minority’ in my peer groups, community, and sometimes within my extended family. In this case, I define ‘minority’ by saying that I often times felt outnumbered in growing up around those with a lighter skin complexion, monocultural family identity, straighter hair texture, and/or normative dialect, than my own. And, I had only been aware of my ‘minority’ status upon moving to Wilmington, NC at age 6 in the 1990s. Before then, I was very young and have only faint memories and pictures of living in predominately African American communities and schools in rural South Carolina and New York City.
In my opinion, hair & standards of beauty are complex issues in all communities. Some may argue that women of African descent have more of a beauty complex than others in society, given our nation’s history and the ideal of conforming to ‘Whiteness’ and European standards during enslavement and beyond. But, developmentally, I feel like every human being in the world goes through this transition in life, whereby choosing to either conform or rebel against status quo. It’s a process, like everything else in life. Stories from populations in the minority, however, need to continue to be shared and not excused. This is why I’m a fan of documentary work and sharing stories like in this play.
As a woman of color, I feel like I’m always being reminded that women of color have reclaimed the definition of beauty and defined their own standards of expression in mainstream popular culture, largely by changing hairstyles, makeup, clothing, words, and actions everyday. I mean look at the women or girls of color in your schools, neighborhoods, workplaces, or families. These women are the unsung heroes to our generation’s popular culture; they provide a pathway for other women to discover themselves outwardly and boldly. Women have the choice to be alternative or more normative in their styles of beauty and expression. And, they have the choice to not care at all about how they are identified. It is sad, though, that many women who follow more normative practices of expression are continually ridiculed or just labeled as “acting White.” Trust me, I got my fair share of that growing up in school because of my dialect. But, all women and girls are to be celebrated because they are choosing to express themselves in a certain way to socialize, get employed, find a partner, and be successful in life. And, to some extent, that’s logical; and, something I think all families want for their children. I guess, for me, it is the practice of altering oneself for the sake of acceptance that is illogical.
I view all of these forms of expression as modes of identification and as strengths to be documented and celebrated, and not as a weakness or concern to be further investigated or mocked at by those outside the culture. But, I do agree that there’s a fine line between expression & extremism. Extremism can lead to forgetting humility, history, heritage, and oneself.
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I believe that my personal hair story is unique, yet may fall in line with many girls of African descent in the US. In my family, it was often assumed and understood that keeping our hair well groomed was a reflection of my parents & our self-respecting values. Many of times, my brother, sister, and I would often have our parents stop us upon leaving the house and casually say things like: ”You’re not going anywhere with me looking retarded,” from my mom who’s from Harlem, or from my dad yelling “Put somet’ing on ya head!” in his West Indian accent. (Note: My parents said these things out of love, but were not ones for being politically correct around us.)
But, I remember when I was in elementary school (~3rd grade), my mom started using the “Black girl’s crack,” that is hair relaxer, to straighten my hair. Shoutout to Just for Me!
Before this, she used the hot comb to straighten out my sister and I’s kinky-curls to either put in plaits or cornrows. And, of course, I was a tender headed child…but, what child would want a hot metal comb brushing against their sensitive scalp, hearing the frying & sizzling as steam rises from your head with every stroke? Uh…not I, says the slightly normally developing kid.
After I got used to the repetitive warnings before relaxer treatments to not scratch my scalp, and the painful reminders of chemical burns on my scalp because I did scratch my head…relaxers didn’t seem all that bad. In my head, it was a normative thing for all Black girls growing up. And, somewhat of a rite of passage for heightening your pain threshold…as if my mother was teaching me to deal with the pain now, so you won’t have to deal with much later on.
In hindsight, I appreciated the ability to style my hair in so many different ways growing up. I usually kept my hair in cornrows, box braids, or micro braids from about 4th-9th grade, using human or artificial extension hair, as needed. But, I also played around with weaves/tracks and short Halle Berry style pixie cuts. For me, it was always about transformation, growth, and being able to play around with my identity a bit more.
It wasn’t until Sophomore or Junior year in college that I embraced my mini fro and went natural. This was mostly due to my limited finances and also being influenced by my sisters beautiful full afro. I played up my mini fro with headbands, twists, and blowouts, until the summer of ‘09 when I finally got my loc extensions. Now that my hair has grown longer, I recently cut most of the extensions off into an asymmetrical bob style, so that I now am growing my natural hair in locs.
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This play gave me a source of inspiration. I really appreciated the documentary-like feel that took me on a journey into the past and on to the present lives of the young women. I, also, thoroughly enjoyed the flashback musical tracks that took me back to times before I was even born, but that are familiar because of the music my family played around the house like Natalie Cole, The Jackson 5, & Stevie Wonder.
After seeing the show, my thoughts took me to wanting to know more about Webb’s process in script writing, casting, and producing and directing the show transformed.
For me, I have so many film ideas written in my composition book that I overwhelm myself with the process before even starting. Is this typical of all artists in development?
Well, as I sit and reflect on that, I’m going to go and fiddle around with editing some interview footage I shot back in January. I haven’t shot footage or edited anything in months. But, like anything, there’s a process and things come in waves. So, I just have to continue to think of it as a learning experience…that will keep me from going crazy…I think.
Oh, and shout out to the actress who played Genevieve bc she’s UNC alum! Haha.
